WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

All stories are, in some form, prayers.

I begin to long for some little language such as lovers use, broken words, inarticulate words, like the shuffling of feet on pavement.

In the garden of humanity every baby is a fresh new flower who can smile, laugh, giggle, dance, love and sing with mother earth.

There are no have-to's, just choices

We all know what tragedy is. "Yes, I'd rather not have any more tragedy, please. I'll have comedy, please." Comedy, in the Greek sense, only means that it has a happy ending.

I'm from the South, so I tend to tell stories. That's how we express ourselves.

It is reasonable to assume that, by and large, what is not read now will not be read, ever. It is also reasonable to assume that practically nothing that is read now will be read later.

Louisiana has a heritage of great players that play their high school football within the boundaries of Louisiana.

Great is the fortune of he who possesses a good bottle, a good book, and a good friend.

If you don't feel good about something, you don't shake it off easily.