This happens to me every couple of years. I'll look at someone I respect and I'll realize that he's outworking me. It changes the way I behave for the next half decade.

If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks.

Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing.

If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything, including divorce and a sexual harassment suit, more frustrating.

If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the leg kick.

I miss third grade because you could kill people in dodgeball. Remember the rules to dodgeball? If you're fat or have glasses, don't show up because you'll die.

Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players?

He Loved perfectly an unperfect me.

My mother worked in factories, worked as a domestic, worked in a restaurant, always had a second job.

Suddenly, I'm in movies that people are excited about, and that is a nice change.

It doesn't matter what I think I am, it matters what I do.

Contrary to what the politicians and religious leaders would like us to believe, the world won't be made safer by creating barriers between people.

Good Friday was the worst Friday until Sunday.

There are no authors in my genre. No one is doing what I do.

I was making love to my wife the other night, I looked up. She was on the phone.

I always liked a good love song and I dig being in love.

He does me double wrong That wounds me with the flatteries of his tongue.