There would be far fewer accidents if we could only teach telephone poles to be more careful.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Politics is the most corrupt profession on Earth, no matter where you are.

It's very hard to teach someone how to write a song if to begin with there's no creative crop to harvest.

A good company delivers excellent products and services, and a great company does all that and strives to make the world a better place.

He glanced furtively up and down the hallway. "Hodge too. Everyone wants to talk to me. Except you, I bet you don't want to talk to me," said Jace. "No," said Clary. "I want to eat. I'm starving.

We may be sure that it is the love of God only that can make us come out of self. If His powerful hand did not sustain us, we should not know how to take the first step in that direction.

God never sends us more than we can handle.

The natural role of twentieth-century man is anxiety.

I wore a pink Betsey Johnson dress to my prom, and I pretty much looked like a pink cupcake. I loved that dress!

I think anybody who's been a part of a kid's life, you hope that when they go out into the world, that they surround themselves with the right people and don't find themselves in trouble.

Among the popular and representative systems of government I do not approve of the federal system: it is too perfect; and it requires virtues and political talents much superior to our own.