There's only one thing money won't buy, and that is poverty.

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

To err is human, to purr is feline.

Covert your time for discovery

You can't have the capitalist system if an increasing number of people think it is unjust.

Planning is valuable, tho the plan is usually useless.

We merely want to live in peace with all the world.

I think the Peace Corps is a fine thing, don't you?" he said. "Well," I replied, "it's certainly better than War Corps.

I throw him two bones: a smile and a nod. Both lies.

I see my writing happening more naturally. Just to relax into it and capture all of the good stuff in a calm and connected fashion.

How can we resent the life we've created for ourselves? Who's to blame, who's to credit, but us? Who can change it, any time we wish, but us?

Character is a strange blending of flinty strength and pliable warmth.