There's no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I'm a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

If you want to miss your crown, follow the crowd. If you want to wear the crown, go alone and be yourself.

I was forced to live far beyond my years when just a child, now I have reversed the order and I intend to remain young indefinitely.

It would be good to see what the Queen gets up to at Buckingham Palace. I bet she spends her whole time watching 'Coronation Street.'

Temperate men drink the most, because they drink the longest.

If there's something I want, I go for it. I just think about how I'm going to go for it.

Lao Tsu always points a finger directly to us. He says we must begin with ourselves. It's impossible to bring order into the world unless we bring order into ourselves.

John McCain has become the de facto running mate of George W. Bush.

I always hope that the artwork will complement and enrich a story.

The right way to build a company is to experiment in lots of small ways, so that you have plenty of room to make mistakes and change strategies.

Look at a gown of gold, and you will at least get a sleeve of it.