There are no inconsistencies in the Discworld books; ocassionally, however, there are alternate pasts.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Fair has nothing to do with it. This is the law – it has nothing to do with justice.

Good storytellers are always ready for the next question.

To secure peace is to prepare for war.

Feel lucky for what you have when you have it. Isn't that the point? Happily ever after doesn't mean happy forever.

If you would know whether you have made a good confession, ask yourself I you have resolved to abandon your sins.

I think that one should view with philosophic admiration the strange paths of the libido and should investigate the purposes of its circuitous ways.

If we have power, we'll never give it up again unless we're carried out of our offices as corpses

There's a lot of falses - out there and if I take up for myself, it's a bad thing. Sometimes you just got to live with it, but for the most part, I'm like look, I don't want no problems with nobody.

The day I became press secretary to the President of the United States, I was in an entirely different world from the one I'd been in the day before.

I love babies. I love being pregnant and I loved giving birth.