Then Saturday Night Live spawns... well, everything right down to American Pie 9, where all humor has to be irrelevant, which can get a little tiring.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Unless you love someone, nothing else makes sense.

Once you understand how powerful you are within, you exponentially increase the power and potentiality of everything outside of you.

Lucky people will focus on what’s in front of them rather than scrabbling about for what they’re searching for.

I worked with patience which means almost power.

In the meantime, I would drink, rest, and ponder the meaning of this mob.

How quiet the writing, how noisy the printing.

That one man scorned and covered with scars Still strove with his last ounce of courage To reach the unreachable star.

You are wise as well as short." "I can also break bricks with my bare hands." "That's a handy skill if you ever find yourself walled up in the basement of an abandoned house by a psychopath.

As a woman, you feel that you shouldnt want to better yourself against others. Ambition has become such an ugly word, hasnt it?

I don't want to spend all my time working as an activist. I don't get satisfaction out of it. I'd rather be doing something else. I'm a musician.