The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Sometimes it is the methods of learning, more so, than what is learned, that is useful!

It has to be simple, but then you deliver them a principle: The simple truth is, as a matter of principle, we cannot spend more than we take in. Something - that changes the tone of the debate.

What is the ape to man? A laughing-stock or a painful embarrassment. And just that shall man be for the superman: a laughing-stock or a painful embarrassment.

I really am a theater person. That means you put something out there, and you let it go. Tomorrow night is a new performance.

It's my pleasure and honor to be here fighting on HBO and in the United States.

And for me there's still more material than 20 lifetimes that I can use up.

Have more confidence in yourself than allowing your decisions to happen just by chance.

The moral sense enables one to perceive morality, and avoid it. The immoral sense enables one to perceive immorality and enjoy it.

Things happen for a reason.

The man who stops advertising to save money is like the man who stops the clock to save time.