The rule of the universe is that others can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves, and one can paddle every canoe except one's own.

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Mom says it's because she has PMS.Do you even know what that means?"I'm not a little kid anymore. It means pissed-at- men syndrome

Being scared can keep a man from getting killed and often makes a better fighter of him.

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.

Celebrate what you want to see more of.

Friends don't let heads drive drunk!

Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful.

Any irrational fears?no, i'm quite a rationalist. i'm not superstitious, i think life is too full of natural wonders and logical complexities to worry about illogical things.

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy.

If you make it a habit not to blame others, you will feel the growth of the ability to love in your soul, and you will see the growth of goodness in your life.

There are not that many roles in comedies that are completely driven by a young actress.