The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you do, take a deep breath, get out your Bill of Rights, and count to the ten amendments.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

It was that impossible thing: happiness that does not wilt to reveal the thin shoots of some new desire rising from within it.

God bless me and my son John Me and my wife him and his wife Us four and no more.

the final lesson of learning to be independent - widowhood ... is the hardest lesson of all.

To remain standing one often has to fall.

The reviewer always has hold of the wrong horror.

You have to give the press confrontations. When you give them confrontations, you get attention; when you get attention, you can educate.

Nothing is lost by peace; everything may be lost by war.

I got addicted to lighting people up, just seeing people so happy 'cause they rediscovered what they're capable of and so that became my life's work.

Losing feels worse than winning feels good.

... when horizons grow or diminish within a person the distances are not measurable by other people.