The internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

Aspects are within us and who seems most kingly is king.

I could settle down into a state of equable low spirits, and resign myself to coffee.

Obedience simulates subordination as fear of the police simulates honesty.

We have to pilot our own dreams - we cannot entrust them to anyone else.

We're all travelers, all sojourners.

Is your work an interpretation of your understanding of reality, or is it simply a picture of your feelings?

I consider myself foremost a novelist with the intent of crafting stories that people will remember.

People will walk through fire for a leader that's true and human.

What are so mysterious as the eyes of a child?

The remedy [for the Great Depression] is to give the workers access to the means of production, and let them produce for themselves, not for others, . . . the American way.