The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.

All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.

Every individual must be given the opportunity to unearth his/her highest potential.

If we agree that God did not create poverty, then in my opinion, poverty came in to being as a consequence of human rights violations.

We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.

Taste is the feminine of genius.

When we numb [hard feelings], we numb joy, we numb gratitude, we numb happiness.

I hate the things they preach. They found a gimmick that sells. The fact that they're making money off all these teenage kids who actually believe in their message is disgusting.

Never look down to test the ground before taking your next step; only he who keeps his eye fixed on the far horizon will find the right road.

When all else fails the liberals call you names or attack your personality.

It will never be about our love for God. It will always be about His magnificent love for us.

He who conquers the mind, conquers the world.