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Jennifer Rardin Quotes

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Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches."

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers."

All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.




Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry."

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!"

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!




Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Jumping up and down is definitely sexy," Vayl assured me. "Would you like to do it two or three times right now before we get down to business?" Sterling and Cole groaned at the same time "Ewww!"

Jumping up and down is definitely sexy," Vayl assured me. "Would you like to do it two or three times right now before we get down to business?" Sterling and Cole groaned at the same time "Ewww!



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero."

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown."

So of course that was the moment my motherboard decided to do a short internal scan, throw up its hands, and screech, “Dear Lawd, a VAMPIRE has taken mah blood!” and initiate a general shutdown.




Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?"

I am driving an unfamiliar vehicle down a narrow road I've never seen before. Do you really want to be pissing me off right now?



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands."

I described the pyramid we'd found and waited for him to jump on the bandwagon. Unfortunately he's afraid of wagons. And bands.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Hey, if you're going to price yourself, I say go high."

Hey, if you're going to price yourself, I say go high.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked. "Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?" Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough."

Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked. "Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?" Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!"

The padlock clicked open. A voice soundingoddly like South Parks's Cartman echoed through my quivering brain. Goddammit!




Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Have you dared to eat my son?" I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter."

Have you dared to eat my son?" I laughed. Actually, it started out as more of a giggle that grew. Because my mind went straight to the gutter.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse."

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz"

I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and hard like a penguin who hasn't bought the whole flightless scenario."

Still enmeshed from the knees down, Vayl flopped off the cabinet before we realized he needed a hand down, falling fast and hard like a penguin who hasn't bought the whole flightless scenario.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Sounds good. Drive safe." He sighed, knowing I really meant, "Take care of my Mercedes."

Sounds good. Drive safe." He sighed, knowing I really meant, "Take care of my Mercedes.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure."

I'm sure it's nothing switching to a light beer won't cure.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven."

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs."

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.



Jennifer Rardin Quotes: "Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads."

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.