The day you realize that your efforts and rewards are not related, it really frees up your calendar.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

Every government is run by liars. Nothing they say should be believed.

Metaphor is a slippery eel, if it wasn't for its shock I'd stick to the easy catch of prose.

I didn't know how we were going to get jobs out of NAFTA, but I tend to be suspicious of these things, like NAFTAs and WTOs and so on.

Revolution should be Syrian, cannot be revolution imported from abroad.

When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.

I would like to do away with all kind of - all weapons. A dream - totally. Including the bow an arrow.

The mind can absorb no more than the seat can endure.

The world belongs to the discontented.

More than ever, the creation of the ridiculous is almost impossible because of the competition it receives from reality.

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.