The best thing about where comedy is now is if you have a little bit of talent and a strong work ethic, and strong social skills, you can make a name for yourself and you can make money.

Challenge yourself with something you know you could never do, and what you'll find is that you can overcome anything son.

A kid asked me for advise about getting into entertainment? I said you better know how to be happy being broke!

Rise and grind... the money ain't gonna wait for you while you sleep son.

Tiger Woods is stupid; not for cheating, but for having one cell phone. What type of player you know has one cell phone?

Chicks can make you flip more than any drug would.

Live life to the fullest everyday, 'cause we never know what day will be our last.

If Elvis is alive, Tupac is alive. I saw Tupac on 46th Street selling Biggie t-shirts 2 for 10 dollars.

When I started off in DC, you didn't get viral first. You got funny first.

That's why when I talk to younger comics, and they say, 'Well I need this and this, and I need so and so,' I tell them they don't need nothing. All you need is some great idea and go shoot it.

I just had a baby girl. My daughter weighed 27 pounds. She was 3 years old. She was delivered to me by way of the court system and a blood test.

You will boost your productivity with active exercise.

my mother died of an overdose of sleeping pills after extensive surgery so that the cause of death was probably listed as despair.

You may call God love, you may call God goodness. But the best name for God is compassion.

People find my things sometimes aggressive. But I don't see it as aggressive. I see it as romantic, dealing with a dark side of personality.

Systematic yoga and vipassana opens the "Dasham Duar" the mystical tenth spiritual gateway located at the top of the skull.

Democracy: a festival of mediocrity.

Strive to realize a state of inward happiness, independent of circumstances.

We've got an engaging, edgy, vibrant, fun product, ... It may or may not work, but we're going to give it our best shot.

The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.

Winning the Games will make you famous, losing will mean death.