The Kraken stirs. And ten billion sushi dinners cry out for vengeance.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible.

The dream police will not let me have sexual fantasies.

Yet do I marvel at this curious thing:/ To make a poet black, and bid him sing!

Because when we're in space, my job is primarily getting us there and getting us back.

Like most writers I know, I love being on stage. I’ve sublimated the dramatic urge by teaching and by making people laugh.

All in all, I wouldn't call it a bad outing. It was a short outing.

Anyone who's ever tried to tangle with a teddy bear cholla knows there's a whole lot more bear than teddy to it.

Whatever it is that gives you that confidence will vary from person to person, but I do believe that it is the key to succeeding at anything in life - career, relationships, anything.

Only that in you which is me can hear what I'm saying.