Thanksgiving, you know - Thanksgiving - it's like we didn't even try to come up with a tradition. The tradition is we overeat.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

To enter a theatre for a performance is to be inducted into a magical space, to be ushered into the sacred arena of the imagination.

Better is half a loaf than no bread.

This will be their 19th consecutive game without a win unless they can get an equaliser.

When people begin to philosophize they seem to think it necessary to make themselves artificially stupid.

Temptation is not a sin but playing with temptation invites sin.

The man who lives in a small community lives in a much larger world... The reason is obvious. In a large community we can choose our companions. In a small community our companions are chosen for us.

Did you ever get the feeling that the story's too damn real?

This life is a dance, not a battle. We are all part of this world, not masters of it.

If you allow for the possibilities of something better, you move toward it instinctively.

Happy Friday! You're responsible for the energy of your day. Remember, when you give off positive energy, you attract it ! Decide to be Happy:)!