Surprise makes a joke funny. I love it when someone tells me something I couldn't possibly have expected; you've been led along one path and - bang! - the joke comes out of nowhere.

'What's a couple?' I asked my mum. She said, 'Two or three'. Which probably explains why her marriage collapsed

I thought if I could make people laugh about how awkward I am, it'd make me less awkward. But you also realise how fun it is to make people laugh.

When wealth flees, untrue friends follow.

Your ego does not need to be crushed, it needs to be redeemed.

She lives like tomorrow isn't coming and yesterday never happened.

The stork is voiceless because there is really nothing to say.

She still talks to me now, only now she talks to me in my dreams. And I can't wait to go to sleep tonight because we have a lot to talk about. I love you.

I'm not a cook and I always stick everything in the freezer and then I leave things out, saying 'if it's good today it will be good tomorrow.'

Let us have a care not to disclose our hearts to those who shut up theirs against us.

That's Anil's path. She grows up in Sri Lanka, goes and gets educated abroad, and through fate or chance gets brought back by the Human Rights Commission to investigate war crimes.

If people knew how hard I worked to get my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.

We, as we read, must become Greeks, Romans, Turks, priest and king, martyr and executioner; must fasten these images to some reality in our secret experience, or we shall learn nothing rightly.