Strive not for singularity in dress; Fools have the more and men of sense the less. To look original is not worth while, But be in mind a little out of style.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

He wasn't mine anywhere except in my heart.

I saw the Eagle Tree for the first time on the third Monday of the month of March, which I guess could be considered auspicious if I believed in magic or superstition or religion...

Few women, I fear, have had such reason as I have to think the long sad years of youth were worth living for the sake of middle age.

Some learned writers . . . have compared a Scorpion to an Epigram . . . because as the sting of the Scorpion lyeth in the tayl, so the force and virtue of an epigram is in the conclusion.

Is not all creation a transgression?

When you hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don't know it and the rest don't care.

I learned about life from life itself, love I learned in a single kiss and could teach no one anything except that I have lived with something in common among men.

May the culture of life and love render vain the logic of death.

Just do a thing and don’t talk about it. This is the great secret of success.

I try to exercise in nature, and I try to play golf once a month. The last time I played golf with my wife, however, she got better scores than me, which became an additional source of stress.