Smallpox is natural; vaccine ain't.

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, were it not for making living, which is rather a nouciance.

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

Behold the Zebra on the plains, And shudder at his mighty manes!

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

When I remember bygone days I think how evening follows morn So many I loved were not yet dead, So many I love were not yet born.

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

The true definition of mental illness is when the majority of your time is spent in the past or future, but rarely living in the realism of NOW.

A high self-esteem can quickly deteriorate into egotism, arrogance, and an over-confidence that can backfire and turn people off.

Never presume negative about someone promptly, You have no idea about the situation of them.

My blessed California, you are so wise. You render death abstract, efficient, clean. Your afterlife is only real estate, And in his kingdom Death must stay unseen.

You can trust a crystal ball about as far as you can throw it.

Pay bad people with your goodness; fight their hatred with your kindness. Even if you do not achieve a victory over other people, you will conquer yourself.

Repentance is another name for aspiration.

I'm a massive fan of the Stones, and I don't think anybody should deny them the right to carry on making music. I just wish they wouldn't wear leggings.

He that by harshness of nature rules his family with an iron hand is as truly a tyrant as he who misgoverns a nation.

Only the strong can be free. And only the productive can be strong.