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Demetri Martin Quotes: Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.
         

Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.


Demetri Martin
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Other quotes of Demetri Martin


I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.



How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.



I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.



The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.



A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.



Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.



The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.



The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.



A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.



When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.





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Feeble and timid minds . . . consider the use of dilatory and ambiguous measures as the most admirable efforts of consummate prudence.

Feeble and timid minds . . . consider the use of dilatory and ambiguous measures as the most admirable efforts of consummate prudence.



I think every pet lover has an appreciation for nature - I've never met an animal lover who didn't have some kind of connection to the natural world.

I think every pet lover has an appreciation for nature - I've never met an animal lover who didn't have some kind of connection to the natural world.



Virtue, perhaps, is nothing more than politeness of soul.

Virtue, perhaps, is nothing more than politeness of soul.



We should allow others' excellences, to preserve a modest opinion of our own.

We should allow others' excellences, to preserve a modest opinion of our own.



Did money give people a blind spot? Rob them of their hearing?

Did money give people a blind spot? Rob them of their hearing?



And when I look at my mother, I reflect on her strength and endurance. She's cranky sometimes, but she is lovable and loving. I'd be happy to be there at 86.

And when I look at my mother, I reflect on her strength and endurance. She's cranky sometimes, but she is lovable and loving. I'd be happy to be there at 86.



Envy grieves. Jealousy rages.

Envy grieves. Jealousy rages.



We all have three characters: the one we really have, the one we try to convince the world we have, and the one we think we have.

We all have three characters: the one we really have, the one we try to convince the world we have, and the one we think we have.



There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'.

There's this thing called freebasing. It's not free, it costs you your home. It should be called 'homebasing'.



Do you think that the man-loving God has given you much so that you could use it only for your own benefit? No, but so that your abundance might supply the lack of others.

Do you think that the man-loving God has given you much so that you could use it only for your own benefit? No, but so that your abundance might supply the lack of others.




Quote Description


This page presents the quote "Right now someone out there is struggling and starting to panic because they can't get out of a tempurpedic bed.". Author of this quote is Demetri Martin. This quote is about struggle, right now, bed, starting, panic,.