ROPE, n. An obsolescent appliance for reminding assassins that they too are mortal. It is put about the neck and remains in place one's whole life long.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You cannot be a light to others or yourself, if you have dark intentions in your heart.

I must say, cowboy, I'm impressed. I was worried you could only handle eight seconds at a time.

The journey to greatness is a marathon, not a hundred meter dash.

Francis Ford Coppola - A man climbs a mountain and they call him a hero. I climb mountains that aren't even there.

There is an interdependence between those who have and those who have not. The process of giving exalts the poor and humbles the rich. In the process, both are sanctified.

I have stopped being a misanthrope.

In a free world, if it is to remain free, we must maintain, with our lives if need be, but surely by our lives, the opportunity for a man to learn anything

You are like night, calmed, constellated. Your silence is star-like, as distant, as true.

Like I always said, if I'm one of the top players in the game, pay me like I'm one of the top players in the game.

Yet will that beauteous image make The dreary sea less drear And thy remembered smile will wake The hope that tramples fear