Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

What cannot be said above all must not be silenced but written.

If geek means you're willing to study things, and if you think science and engineering matter, I plead guilty. If your culture doesn't like geeks, you are in real trouble.

I think it's very hard if you love someone to walk away from a relationship that isn't healthy.

When you feel homesick,’ he said, ‘just look up. Because the moon is the same wherever you go.

Economized love is never real love.

Legends are all to do with the past and nothing to do with the present.

In fact, all the additional knowledge gained by an irrationally constituted society may but enlarge and enhance the powers of death and destruction.

All my life I have always known I was born to greatness.

The weight of great power crushes the goodness of the man who rules and the honesty of those who are ruled.

Hell is an outrage on humanity. When you tell me that your deity made you in his image, I reply that he must have been very ugly.