Political stuff is all about his [Hunter S. Thompson] reaction to a situation. And my stuff is much more externally driven.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

If you don’t know where you are going, ask those who have been there.

A doctor, a teacher and a politician have no caste.

Why are we here? We're here to go!

In love the other is important

A refusal of praise is a desire to be praised twice.

Deadlines concentrate the mind. But deadlines should not be dogmas.

The end of the day is near when small men make long shadows.

I think that's what the war photography did for me. It showed me the human side of people and how certain circumstances can change people's lives.

The art of interpretation is not to play what is written.

There are only two sorts of greatness: true greatness, which is of a spiritual order, and the old, old lie of world conquest. Conquest is an ersatz greatness.