Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Follow your inner voice to let people follow you.

Develop your prayer language

If you meet a number of failures the causes of which are not known, look for something that is common for each failure and that is never present when there is a success.

I think kissing is what separates us from the animals and makes us divine.

We are at a pivotal moment in our shared history. The global goals of a healthy planet, social equality, and economic opportunity for all are within reach. But we cannot prevaricate.

Today, the general masses in this society are in this political-social condition that really encourages people to become rich and become a star and be unique.

I think it's important to accept all the ways that we're absurdly lucky. I'm a white male from a safe city in a wealthy country.

My parents were the same in the pulpit as they were at home. I think that's where a lot of preachers' kids get off base sometimes. Because they don't see the same things at both places.

The audience doesn't care that most of happened. They just want a good movie.

Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found.