Paul Newman's half Jewishand Florence Henderson's half, tooPut them together,What a fine looking Jew!

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Weber, ... argues that... personal bias should not preclude the scientific ascertainment of objective historical facts.

Life is like that...sometimes you have to peel off the bitterness in order to get to the part that is sweet.

Marriage converts a player into a polygamist.

Courage is chief among virtues. For when any virtue is challenged, it is courage alone that can restore virtue.

Economics, politics, and personalities are often inseparable.

If I need to help my team and play a different position for that game because somebody is hurt or they want to give a day off to somebody, I'll do it.

Christmas may not bring a single thing; still, it gives me a song to sing.

The mystery of writing advertisements consists mainly in saying in a few plain words exactly what it is desired to say, precisely as it would be written in a letter or told to an acquaintance.

As he poured carefully, Arrow's head turned toward the sound. The horse made a low grumbling noise in his throat. "Hold your horses," he said. The he laughed. It seemed absurd to say tat to a horse.

Love is not vain because it is frustrated, but because it is fulfilled. The people we love turn to ashes when we posess them.