Originality irritates so obscurely that people may have to evolve to scratch it.

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.

In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

We have truth in order not to die of art.

He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.

Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

History is about ordinary people living their ordinary lives, just as we do today, while all around the world is changing. It makes heroes out of some people and victims out of others.

And The Monster Said "Pity The Broken Child As In You Pity The Insane

But times changed, and I changed, and I didn't feel that way anymore. The Beatles were happening. I think that was probably the main thing. The Beatles just changed the whole world of music.

Instead of idleness, vanity, or an intellect formed by the spoon-feeding of others, my girls have acquired energy, industry, and independence.

The Vatican takes your breath away.

I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

The more the plans fail, the more the planners plan.

To pray as God would have us pray is the greatest achievement of earth.

If there were no affliction in this world we might think we were in paradise.

what is the worst pain? To me, it's always the pain that is present.