Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.

In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.

We have truth in order not to die of art.

He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.

Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

Sanity’s a virginity of the mind

If I hear a record once, I usually never listen to it again. I rarely listen to music - unless it's Billie Holiday.

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

I don't always write in order, so composing multi-book stories could get complicated.

I was a drummer and I played the guitar.

There are three persons living in each of us: the one we think we are, the one other people think we are, and the one God knows we are!

Black people lived right by the railroad tracks and the train would shake their houses at night. I would hear it as a boy and I thought: I'm gonna make a song that sounds like that.

It is only when we become aware that our time is limited that we can channel our energy into truly living

I love women's fashion, but women don't need me as much as men do. It's the men who have nothing to wear.

A Democrat hypocrite will never get harmed.

I'm an artist; I'm not going to use trigonometry.