I just want to be known as a clown because to me, that's the height of my profession. It means you can do everything - sing, dance and, above all, make people laugh.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.

Live by this credo: have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.

I personally believe that each of us was put here for a purpose -- to build not to destroy. If I can make people smile, then I have served my purpose for God.

There are three signs of old age: loss of memory ... I forget the other two.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always

Exercise? I get it on the golf course. When I see my friends collapse, I run for the paramedics.

Old age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I personally believe we were put here to build and not to destroy.

Today's comics use four-letter words as a shortcut to thinking. They're shooting for that big laugh and it becomes a panic thing, using four-letter words to shock people.

They soared past the dark shapes of animals, grazing in the fields."What are they?" she asked."Sheep, " Mason replied. "I once heard someone describe them as floating like clouds across the hills.

You’re beautiful. If you believe it, they’ll believe it.

She's the quiet type who's into heavy metal.

Every journey starts with a single step.

I certainly have a lot to lament, as do we all, everybody has their griefs. But the griefs we can fix, shouldn't we go around fixing them?

When some English moralists write about the importance of having character, they appear to mean only the importance of having a dull character.

Keep a space where God can let something totally new take place.

If anything, technology has brought out the darker and more sinister side of humanity.

Cinema can fill in the empty spaces of your life and your loneliness.

An ethic gone wrong is an essential preliminary to the sweat shop or the concentration camp and the death march.