In America, fundamentalist Christians believe the world was created 6,000 years ago - in England people drink in bars that are older than that.

A hundred percent of marriages end in divorce, disappearance or death.

A sniper is like a genius - it’s not enough to be one, you have to be one at something.

One thing you’ll say for skeletons, they’ll always give you a smile.

The optimist sees the future as a rabbit sees the oncoming truck - getting bigger, not closer.

Biting enemies seems to be acceptable in a surprisingly narrow range of circumstances, or so a ninja shouted at me once

We have truth in order not to die of art.

He has been positively growing tusks trying to create a breed of human insect which will continue to live on this accursed planet. Everyone needs a goal.

Dreams always end before you kill the last person.

Fractal litigation, whereby the flapping of a butterfly’s wings on one side of the world resulted in a massive compensation claim on the other.

Sanity’s a virginity of the mind

Not immediately able to proceed, I stood there, inexpressibly grateful that my life, for all its terrors, is so filled with moments of grace.

There sinks the nebulous star we call the sun.

Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.

If a man talks bad about all women, it usually means he was burned by one woman.

The body must stay fit. Fit people like themselves much better.

Twitter has been my life's work in many senses. It started with a fascination with cities and how they work, and what's going on in them right now.

The controversy as to whether socialism is possible has been settled by the fact that it exists, and it is a fundamental axiom of my philosophy, at any rate, that anything that exists, is possible.

The trick is, to treat your days as if each one may be your last.

Those whose hearts are fixed on Reality itself deserve the title of Philosophers.

Take the best out of everything and adapt it to your needs.