Optimism - the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Time is what the clock says.

If I have done anything in life worth attention, I feel sure that I inherited the disposition from my mother.

But in the end, I suppose, we only have one life to lead, and the roads not taken would always outnumber and outshine the roads we end up taking, day by day, without plan.

I was weaned on chicken-fried steak and hominy grits with goopy gravy all over. I loved meat and wore fur.

When it comes to music, it's my clothes, it's my guitar, it's my voice, it's my song.

The claim that American women are downtrodden and unfairly treated is the fraud of the century.

Correct observation followed by meticulous deduction and the precise visualization of goals is vital to the success of any enterprise.

War is not merely justifiable, but imperative upon honorable men, upon an honorable nation, where peace can only be obtained by the sacrifice of conscientious conviction or of national welfare.

Experience trumps brilliance.