Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

I think it's very hard to go into the same business as your family when you're an artist.

[Louis Armstrong] was the only musician who ever lived, who can't be replaced by someone.

I have never felt so lonely as on a golf course in the midst of a championship with thousands of people around, especially when things began to go wrong and the crowds started wandering away.

No, none of us seem so very real. We're only supporting characters in the lives of each other. Any real truth, any precious fact will always be lost in a mountain of shattered make-believe.

Concerts are never real music, you have to give up the idea of hearing in them all the most beautiful things of art.

He is always becoming, and if it were not for the contingency of death, he would never end.

People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny.

The first step in fixing a broken program is getting it to fail repeatably [on the simplest example possible].

Recognize and respect mutual self-interests, then build creative collaborations to serve them.

I learned in school that money isn’t everything. It’s happiness that counts. So momma sent me to a different school.