Never f*!k with the ineffable.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

If you can't climb a tree, shake it, and its fruit will fall.

Certain girls deserve lots of flowers. You are one of them.

Prayers Are Free, But Change is going to cost you.

Id love to work with the people who really got the film industry going again through the 70s: Peter Weir, Bruce Beresford, Gillian Armstrong, Fred Schepisi.

I might be too strung out on compliments, overdosed on confidence/ Started not to give a f- and stop fearing the consequence/ Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments.

I change my hairstyle every day for the show, I'm fastidious and vain about my nails and teeth and grooming and makeup, but a perfect body, forget it. Dust to dust, wuggies to wuggies.

I don't write, I build a rhyme.

Lack of forgiveness causes almost all of our self-sabotaging behavior.

For since most of our living is unconscious, play is like matchstrokes in the void, bringing into light the structures we behave by, illuminating for us, however briefly, our deep meanings.

If you put on weight it's not by chance. You put on weight because you eat compulsively.