Most stick people are black.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

Comamandering is not a word.It has letters, doesn't it? Sounds like a word to me.

She paused in the doorway, tipping her head to consider Brittany, who only glared. "You're right. I think most girls don't look like the tooth fairy dresses them every day.

I am thinking, ’ he remarked quietly, ’whether I shall add to the disorder in this room, by scattering your brains about the fireplace.

I found out I was pregnant seven days after my wedding. I was on honeymoon with my family.

Every day that you don't practice is a day you're getting worse.

Chemistry is not anything an executive producer or writer can orchestrate or plan; you just hope for it.

I can think. I can wait. I can fast.

And as for you, stop having curly hair!

I prefer the gloominess to the sun. I don't know why.

I'm interested in loving, beautiful, sexy images... I also want the images to be a turn on, create an adrenaline high, a rush of desire so intense that the act of looking is sexual.