Money not spent on a luxury one considered even briefly is the equivalent of windfall income and should be spent accordingly.

I never eat in a restaurant that's over a hundred feet off the ground and won't stand still.

Many Texas barbecue fanatics have a strong belief in the beneficial properties of accumulated grease.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

The shelf life of the average trade book is somewhere between milk and yogurt.

As far as I'm concerned, 'whom' is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.

Perhaps we've time to have a look at the Number Thirty-One bus queue before we turn in.

I'm in favor of liberalizing immigration because of the effect it would have on restaurants. I'd let just about everybody in except the English.

Every good idea sooner or later degenerates into hard work.

Did you know that five out of three people have trouble with fractions.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn't meant my answers literally.

A man can live on his wits and his balls for only so long.

When a man wantonly destroys a work of man we call him a vandal when a man destroys one of the works of God we call him a sportsman.

A lot of people go straight from denial to despair without pausing in the middle and doing something about it.

There is nothing like chess to keep the brain smart, and give it a workout.

Before the discovery of agriculture mankind was everywhere so divided, the size of each group being determined by the natural fertility of its locality.

You could have two completely different careers if you could stay healthy to 90. How fascinating that would be.

I probably am more shy than people realize. But I'm shy when I leave a studio and I am just myself.

The way to find what the mainstream will do tomorrow is to associate with the lunatic fringe today.

For many people, feminism is one of those words of which, as St. Augustine said about time, they know the meaning as long as no one is asking.

A burning passion coupled with absolute detachment is the key to all success.