Mexico's a great place to overcome a drug addiction.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

I can't talk, or I will throw up!

Give and TakeThe Chief takes less than he is givenAnd gives more than he has taken

Women get desperate, but they don't understand despair.

But he’s an untouchable, Shirin.’ ‘He’s my Untouchable Prince Charming, then. Only I am allowed to touch him.

The worst loss for any country is not the infrastructure or the buildings or the material loss; actually, it's the human resources loss.

The majority is the best way, because it is visible, and has strength to make itself obeyed. Yet it is the opinion of the least able.

All the world wondered as they witnessed... a people lift themselves from humiliation to the greatest pride.

We have never stopped sin by passing laws; and in the same way, we are not going to take a great moral ideal and achieve it merely by law.

There is more of fear than delight in a secret pleasure.

I don't pretend anything anymore. I don't have time, desire or energy to calculate anymore.