Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

A long time ago, I gave up trying to understand how other people think.

Living in dreams of yesterday, we find ourselves still dreaming of impossible future conquests.

Just as you go to the gym regularly to keep your body fit, regular couples counseling can keep your relationship fit as well.

We need above all to know about changes; no one wants or needs to be reminded 16 hours a day that his shoes are on.

My songs, well, they are sad, but in all of them the person singing them - me or whoever - is actually still trying and hasn't given up yet.

I think that, y'know, they seem to really love music, which means they'll stick with it. I think that Hanson could be really good in a few years, actually!

When you pull on that jersey, you represent yourself and your teammates, and the name on the front is a hell of a lot more important than the one on the back. Get that through your head!

A brother's sufferings claim a brother's pity.

Only love... can kill the demon.

From the dark end of the street - To the bright side of the road - We'll be lovers once again on the - Bright side of the road