Live TV has an amazing pace to it. You've got to be able to think quick, make changes last minute, and be funny and fast.

I thought 'Pineapple Express' was hilarious.

Remember Tupperware? That was the toughest stuff ever. Why can't they make a phone out of Tupperware?

When you're babysitting a kid, all you're seeing is a version of them, a small dosage.

I am the comedy version of ambidextrous. I'm working with my left and right hand. I'm the two-sided coin. I'm all of those metaphors you can think of. I'm the interracial couple. I'm BET and CBS.

You're trying to make someone wet their pants and you're trying to make somebody crap in their pants. That's the motivation of a comic. Who else has that power?

All you wanna do in life is do what you do well. That's when you're happiest.

You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.

You ever taste some damn chicken so horrible, that you wished the chicken would show up at your house and show your lady how to cook him?

Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't like to be robotic onstage. I like to perform for that particular audience.

This Italian restaurant I'm at is authentic! When they seat you, they give you a mustache.

He flexed his fingers and fought the urge to put his hand on her stomach. It was a possessivegesture, and he felt a little bit possessive

Austerity is not part of the European treaties; democracy and the principle of popular sovereignty are.

As a youngster I was a great dreamer, reading many books of adventure and walking lonely miles with my head in the clouds.

I spent years crying in my diary. But I finally stopped finding fault with myself. We're all different, yet the same.

I am so delighted when I get to see a really good movie. In that experience the artifice of movie making, the photography or the cutting style, falls away because you are inside the movie.

I don't believe in pets. I like animals to be wild and free.

Ignore reality, there's nothing you can do about it.

Jobs are a key essential in the Budget.They are government's number one priority and the Budget is going to reflect that.

Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside.

Tony Iommi - the undisputed king of demonic heavy rock riffs. In this area, no one had never surpassed him.