Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

All my life I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, 'Look at the poor dope, wilya?

If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.

And if there is sweeter music this side of heaven I haven't heard it.

I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind

I stared out at the waves. "Why am I here?" I thought. Finally it came to me. But it was too late. I was a terrible lifeguard.

Take God from nature, nothing great is left.

I never speak ill of dead people or live judges.

Those from whom nature has withheld taste invented trousers.

If I won the lottery tomorrow - which would be a real trick, since I haven't entered - and was independently wealthy for the rest of my life, I'd write comic books, because it's what I like doing.

We all - in the end - die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories.

An overblown conscience is an empty conscience.

If you dream and you believe, you can do it.

Each moment in history is a fleeting time, precious and unique. But some stand out as moments of beginning, in which courses are set that shape decades or centuries.

Give love and forget that you gave it.