I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot.

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?

Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd.

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat.

All my life I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, 'Look at the poor dope, wilya?

If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.

And if there is sweeter music this side of heaven I haven't heard it.

Only cream and SOBs rise to the top.

Maybe you actually do need to face obstacles with someone to know that they're the one you'd sacrifice for.

We need not a new set of beliefs, but a new way of believing, not simply new answers to the same old questions, but a new set of questions.

I think it's a little unfair for people to say you're not paying your fair share of taxes. I'm paying what I'm supposed to pay. Change the law, and I'll pay what I'm supposed to pay.

The five happiest people I have ever met all had this strange little quirk of referring to their jobs as a 'calling.'

I'm a professional. I don't want people to read something about me in the tabloids going out with celebrities or whatever. It might be a bit boring but I have to give values to my children.

The State Department said the countries that are most stealing our best ideas also are our best allies.

A human being has a natural desire to have more of a good thing than he needs.

From 7 in the morning to 11 at night, I was reading. I don't think one can find any other time in one's life to be left alone so much to read in peace like that.

“You don't have to be in shape to bowl. It's the only sport where there's a way to signal for a cocktail waitress.”