Lately the muse has been treating me like Ike treated Tina.

If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.

I wish all those who've found God, would tell the rest of us where he's been hiding.

A little stupid is like a little forest fire. If you happen upon some stupid, please stomp it out before it spreads.

Just a thought for all you God-fearin', gun-lovin', Bible-thumpin' 2nd Amendment patriots. If it turns out Heaven's a gun-free zone, what's plan B???

God might not be dead, but he's sure as hell missing in action.

99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.

A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.

God doesn't send atheists to Hell -- there's no room with all the Christians down there.

If Heaven actually exists, I don't need anyone to be my real estate broker. After all, what is religion but an attempt to sell you a share in the ultimate gated community?

If a person has no conscience, it's called being a sociopath. If a corporation has no conscience, it's called capitalism.

Culturally, one of the best arguments we can make is, wait and see.

The mind is a lifelong consolidation of experiences and inner dialogue that was invented by self-perception - our ego.

Many strokes overthrow the tallest oaks.

But he is unworthy the name of a minister of the gospel of peace, who is unwilling, not only to have his name cast out as evil, but also to die for the truths of the Lord Jesus.

I auditioned for Ted Bundy and the director Matthew Bright and we really hit it off. He cast me as Bundy's girlfriend.

Grief and disappointment give rise to anger, anger to envy, envy to malice, and malice to grief again, till the whole circle be completed.

I guess that's one of the things about growing up in the fifties - it never occurred to me that you wouldn't be at least as successful as your parents.

The Family is the oldest and arguably most influential religious political organization in Washington.

Newspapers are even worse for me than ice cream; headlines, and the big issues that generate the headlines, are pure fat.

You might expect gravity would slow it down, but it's just expanding faster and faster