Lampoon was exactly the opposite. The work was a lot of fun, but the office environment was hell. You cannot put 20 humorists together.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

...I hardly ever see your profile, but have I told you it's beautiful? - like the soft gentle lines of snow...

A friend is a person with whom I may be sincere. Before him I may think aloud.

It's not your responsibility to have the bigger picture in mind. But, the downside is that then, a lot of times, you're disappointed by the movies that are made around you.

Many of these Americans who are struggling to survive are Americans of color, .. Their cries for assistance confront America with a test of our moral compass as a nation.

Shareholder value is a result, not a strategy . . . Your main constituencies are your employees, your customers and your products.

Western humanism has religious and transcendent sources without which it is incomprehensible to itself.

Movies are great, but the real romance happens right here somewhere as real close-up. Either you're the one erasing or you're the one being erased, so... It's not a pleasant feeling!

Good taste cannot supply the place of genius in literature, for the best proof of taste, when there is no genius, would be, not to write at all.

There is only one admirable form of the imagination: the imagination that is so intense that it creates a new reality, that it makes things happen.

Prior to [streaming], the idea of sitting down and watching a show every week seemed like a great idea.