LANGUAGE, n. The music with which we charm the serpents guarding another's treasure.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You will find poetry nowhere unless you bring some of it with you.

What you allow inside of you will settle there unless you find an effective way to work it out.

How could I insist on equality when I was unwilling to do what life demanded to be equal?

If you don't look like the ruling class, bring your inhaler.

Libraries can be of indispensable service in lifting the dead weight of poverty and ignorance.

Idleness is the beginning of all psychology. What? Could it be that psychology is ? a vice?

McLaggen makes Grawp look like a gentleman.

With bass, especially bottom end, the vibration has to happen on stage otherwise the feel is wrong. This is why you can't scale the equipment down too far.

The painter's obsession with his subject is all that he needs to drive him to work.

I think we as Americans know there's a much better alternative than the 17th century practice of burning rocks to power our economy.