Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

As the last curtain falls on a spent year, a new year pirouettes to center stage with the elegance and charm of a prima ballerina – and delivers the promise of peace, hope, love and joy.

As priests uphold their people in prayer, so their people are to uphold them with prayer and love, for he cannot work without his people.

I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.

To me, being able to find gratification in more venues, rather than greater gratification in a few, seems like a much more sane way of living.

Writers end up writing stories-or rather, stories' shadows-and they're grateful if they can, but it is not enough. Nothing the writer can do is ever enough

The world says of marriage: A short joy and a long displeasure. But he who understands it finds in it delight, love, and joy without ceasing.

To move Nigeria forward, we must define our interest in the Nigeria project

I think I can live without you, but it won't be any kind of life.

There are thousands of books on the joy of gardening and cooking. Alas, there are only few on the joy of living.

There is only one romance the Soul's.