I sometimes throw in a couple of swears just to keep the Christian right off my tail. I wouldn't want to be the tea party's go-to comedian.

Every cookie is a sugar cookie. A cookie without sugar is a cracker.

No matter what time of year it's always funny when a person walks by me dressed in religious garb and I say Happy Halloween!

Just saw an orthodox Jewish kid do 3 pull-ups on the scaffolding. Shattering the previous record.

Don't go back over your life with a red pen.

Some people hate Jews. Fine, alright it's been done. I mean, that's part of my problem with it. Could you hate somebody new? I'm not giving you any suggestions but the Belgians have had a good run.

The key is to get it all down on paper before the coffee stops telling you you're talented.

Rich people are just like us though they now eat their meals off square shaped plates.

If you are 26 years old and you're waking up under Star Wars sheets... the Force is not with you.

The definition of the word nerd has changed. It's now any attractive person with a hobby. The loneliness component is no longer included.

The popcorn button on the microwave is a miraculous invention. More miraculous than even the microwave itself.

Stay present for the “now” of your life. It’s your “point of power.

A nation that forgets its past has no future

She wasn’t just a faithful friend, she was the closest thing to heaven I allowed myself to know. Through her I received joy in my heart and began to love others.

Summon the strength of your capabilities —not just housed in the mind - but, empowered within the Soul.

It’s the uncertainty of being accepted that creates the drama in our lives.

It's not getting any easier.Life will keep on challenging you as long as you are the strong rival.Once you give up, life will lose interest in you and leave you in peace/ease.

I play a little guitar, write a few tunes, make a few movies, but none of that's really me. The real me is something else.

Unfortunately, I don't have much free time

Heather knows why and when her marriage ended with Richie and she knows why my marriage ended with Charlie.

Equally inured by moderation either state to bear, prosperous or adverse.