Just because you've got a mind like a hammer doesn't mean you have to treat everyone else like a nail

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The desire of a man for a woman is not directed at her because she is a human being but because she is a woman. That she is a human being is of no concern to him.

I want people to know me through the movies I do. I want to be judged on that. If you start becoming famous for your personal life, that's when your career goes away.

Once you're on stage you can't go back, even when things go wrong people expect you to stay there and entertain them. When all else fails, you've got to try tap dancing.

God knows our situation; He will not judge us as if we had no difficulties to overcome. What matters is the sincerity and perseverance of our will to overcome them.

Public opinion, in its raw state, gushes out in the immemorial form of the mob's fear. It is piped into central factories, and there it is flavoured and colored and put into cans.

It's nice to stay up nights worrying about the material, and not about the investors who gave you $10 million to do your musical.

But Roy Rockwood, it was science fiction for the sake of science fiction.

Successful investing is about having people agree with you ... later.

Prayers truly from the heart open all doors in Heaven.

I look one move ahead... the best!