It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes

Rappers shouldn't have to file taxes because they itemize everything they own in songs.

No one's dream job involves a kiosk.

Paul Ryan looks like the car rental salesman who bullies you into getting full coverage.

Before taking the stage, Paul Ryan spent 6 hours staring into a mirror working on 'concerned eyebrow.'

My other car is a vehicle with a bumper sticker describing this car.

My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my phone.

Forget the Bible, the greatest argument against human evolution is a YouTube comment thread.

You are the best at life and shine when you just be YOURSELF. Let nobody tell you that you are not capable of doing what you believe in.

We cannot learn something new and stick to it without a modular approach to application, positive reinforcement and a real change of environment.

If you see yourself as other people see you, it means you are lost, you don't know yourself and you have closed down a world class university of diligence!

Like I said in my election manifesto - why don't they legalise the whole thing and let people like me work?

I've done a number of films that no one has ever seen, and that's probably a good thing.

Climb the mountain so you can see the world, not so the world can see you. Focus all your effort on what is in your power to control.

The awareness is not part of the darkness or the pain; it holds the pain, and knows it, so it has to be more fundamental, and closer to what is healthy and strong and golden within you.

Beauty is a question of optics. All sight is illusion.

a poet never feels useful.

Viewed systematically, religion can be differentiated from other culturally constituted institutions by virtue only of its reference to superhuman beings.