It's a sword. said the Hogfather. They're not meant to be safe.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

That stranger handed me a letter written in my beloved's tears. I opened it, and the letters faded away just like his love for me.

If we're talking about healthcare lets talk about a healthy diet. If there is anything better in the world in dealing with a healthcare problem it's prevention! We CAN afford prevention!

I graduated from the University of Delaware with a double major in history and political science.

One of the earliest lessons I learned as a child was that if you looked away from something, it might not be there when you looked back.

If you want to live in the fullness of God's anointing, fill your mouth with His Word.

I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot that way.

We would often rather seem dutiful to others than to succeed in our duties; and often we would rather tell our friends that we have done them good than to do good in actuality.

I don't think there's such a thing as a bad emotion. The only bad emotion is a stuck emotion.

Losing is not in my vocabulary.

Last guys don't finish nice.