It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

Power lacks moral or principles. It only has interests.

As human beings, how do we choose to react in that instant when someone walks toward us, smiles, and begins to speak?

it is better to recapture an army entire than to destroy it, to capture a regiment, a detachment or a company entire than to destroy them.

If I don't understand it, it must be art.

We demand too much of life, too little of ourselves.

What time is it on the clock of the world?

Early, as well as late, Rise with the sun, and set in the same bowers

I had did so much to Larry [Holmes] in the ring that I made him respect me in the fight.

Charm is the ability to insult people without offending them; nerdiness the reverse

Stories are important...They can be more important than anything. If they carry the truth.