It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.

A man's idea in a game of cards is war, cruel, devastating, and pitiless. A lady's idea of it is a combination of larceny, embezzlement and burglary.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns.

What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

Just the thought of you fills my heart with love.

The truth might hurt but lies hurt even more.

You truly deserve to reside at the top because your mind is far greater than anything that the bottom has to offer.

Don't let your ego get too close to your position, so that if your position gets shot down, your ego doesn't go with it.

When The Phenoix Suns are missing two basketballs, they'll know where to look!

Mingle a little folly with your wisdom; a little nonsense, now and then, is pleasant.

It is never too late to master your weaknesses.

This country of ours has committed the most serious act of aggression in its history by engaging in a war of aggression without a declaration of war by Congress.

A lot of my friends inspire my style, and they dont even know it.

As a draft-animal is yoked in a wagon, even so the spirit is yoked in this body